Thursday, August 16, 2012

How did we get here?

okay. I did it. I shouldn’t have, but I did.  with a few clicks, there I was…scrolling through our blog. images of me holding a tiny baby in my arms. the words on the page seem like they were written ages ago. by a mom that was so new and dreamy. her small little face seems almost unrecognizable in pictures, but so familiar.


fast forward. HERE. NOW. TOMORROW…Its Meet the Teacher Day at school.  I’ve heard it all a million times, “blink and its over”, “she won’t be small for long”, “you’re gonna miss this”.

they were right.  all of those strangers in the checkout line at Target…you know them too, right?

Its exciting, sure. but downright life altering.  Who is Beckett going play with during the morning hours while I get ready?  Who is going to watch Elin while I jump in the shower? (certainly NOT her big brother!!)  and early mornings…are you kidding me?!  This child has never seen the sun rise.  but she will. and soon.

and its not just around here that will be different. its down the road.  at a little school where she will spend more time with a woman she will come to love as her teacher than she ever will with me again. ouch. that will stop you in your tracks. I mean, will they know when she needs me? when she’s scared or embarrassed? what happens when someone picks on her for that missing tooth in the front of her mouth? who gets to hold her when she falls on the playground? not me. ouch. that hurts too.

and it’s a deep hurt. the one that drains the water from your eyes and causes you to bite your upper lip so you don’t just sob out loud.

but its here. the day I thought was over-hyped. its just Kindergarten. yep. its just Kindergarten.

and the funny thing is…I’m gonna miss her. I mean, really miss her. but I’m just a little afraid that she won’t miss me-not that much at least. and I just don’t know if I’m okay with that quite yet.

so here’s to Kindergarten. to a year of new friends and a new way of life…for all of us. grace for each moment…

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